About Me
From “Approaching is Scary” to “Let's Go Meet Someone Awesome.”
From “Approaching is Scary” to “Let's Go Meet Someone Awesome.”
My name is Phil. My parents sent me to an all-boys high school, so from about 14–18 I wasn't talking to girls and having normal interactions with them, let alone flirting. That alone probably set me up for some monster approach anxiety. And the things I was good at didn't exactly help. Baseball, basketball, video games, poker, reading—these were all things I enjoyed, but none of them gave me much female interaction. I was basically competitive at a handful of things while borderline dysfunctional with women.
When I eventually discovered cold approach, I immediately thought I'd found my solution. If I wanted to meet women, why not just go talk to them? But I couldn't just approach. It was way too daunting, especially by myself.
In a perfect world, “cold approach” shouldn't even have a label. In the pre-internet era, “cold approach” was just the way people met. I labeled it the “Grandpa Method” because boomers had to meet each other before the internet somehow, right?
Either way, even if cold approach was totally normal eons ago, it now has a largely negative stigma in the general public. A lot of that comes from the men who can't detect or read signals when women get uncomfortable.
It's a double-edged sword. The negativity that society puts on approaching makes it far more difficult to cross the initial barrier because we think we're going to be judged into oblivion. But it also provides a huge benefit. Since almost nobody is cold approaching, guess what that means?
An approach is extremely unique and will stick out in a girl's mind, especially if she likes you.
